Go with the Flow Page 11

  I have never actually cried but I wanted to cry so many times. I have come to care less about winning or losing. I am just grateful that I can still play Go. But I hated losing when I was young. I was in desperate need to be alone after I managed to finish the review of the game I had just lost. I did not know how to comfort myself. I did not drink nor have any hobbies. The only thing I could do was to take a long walk all night until I was exhausted and had to walk back home. I did not let anyone see me when I was completely shaken up, not even my wife who was the closest person to me.

  The paradox is that neither the winner of the game feels comfortable about game reviews. The relationship the winner has with the opponent complicates the situation, not to mention having to demonstrate professional courtesy as well by restraining from expressing joy. Back in the days when Changho took every single title I had, even the audience felt uneasy and nervous during our game reviews. Changho, feeling guilty about defeating me, his teacher, could not bring himself to look at me or to answer my questions.

  Reviewing a game is a torture for both the winner and the loser of the game. But the review sessions must carry on. It is the only way to be sure of what went right and what went wrong. Doing a thorough review allows players to avoid repeating the same mistakes and help them discover better moves for the next games. In the world of competitive Go, reviewing games is the basic requirement. It helps winners develop winning habits, and prepares those defeated for a victory.

  How would one feel, if one has to revisit one’s mistakes over and over? Anyone would choose to avoid doing it in the first place, if possible. No one enjoys looking at their weaknesses. But a fighter must look hard at them. The only way to win is to admit one’s mistakes and to never repeat them. A fighter should know better than to ignore one’s weaknesses.

  Making a routine out of reviewing is not limited to Go or competitive sports. Everyone reviews or replays at different levels. One thinks about how the day went by lying on the bed at the end of the day; one may regret or do a self-reflection of some of the events that took place during the day, such as being criticized by the manager, being commended for an achievement, how the meeting went in the office, or how the project is making progress. Whatever it is that one regrets, one should not avoid it. Some make the attempt to forget embarrassing or regretful moments. Some chose to justify their mistakes or blame them on others. It is not about how quickly one gets over failure, but how one overcomes it. One needs to have a clear diagnosis of what went wrong instead of pointing fingers at others or denying anything ever happened. In real life, revisiting mistakes prevents one from repeating them. The value of it lies in giving oneself the quiet time for self-reflection and address personal issues.

  One needs to look at one’s weaknesses squarely even if it is painful. The more painful it is, the closer one has to look at it. A mistake is never made by coincidence. It is made by immaturity and inexperience. Refusing to accept responsibility and fix the problem is an immature behavior.

  Admit to making a mistake. Face one’s mistakes squarely and honestly. Review one’s game every day, no matter how painful it is. One will grow professionally and become a mature adult.

  Enemies are the Greatest Teachers

  Reviewing a game is necessary to explore the roads not taken after the actual game has taken place. Professional Go players get to think about possible variations of their moves and positions. What if I had chosen to put this stone at this place instead of the other one? Would it have made all the difference in the outcome?

  The sore loser can anxiously try to ‘win’ the review and let out the frustration. On the other hand, the winner tends to be easy-going and will try to let the opponent win the review. The winner offers consolation and encouragement to the opponent; “I could have lost if you had made that move,” or, “there is no way I could have escaped that.” But, in some cases, game reviews can be as tight as the actual game, for example, when the defeated individual comes up with an idea that can turn the game around, and the opponent replies with a powerful move that equals it out. This dynamic can trigger an exhaustive debate and time-consuming review that lasts longer than the actual game.

  Reviewing a game is important because it is a window to the opponent’s way of thinking. The two players have the opportunity to learn new, unique ideas from each other and exchange feedback. In this respect, game reviews can be a paradigm-shifting experience for some. Anyone who has had an amazing mind-blowing experience will know what I mean. An old framework of thinking is smashed into pieces and the mind feels as if it has been drilled through. The sheer shock of it leaves one feeling bewildered. But when the shock is absorbed and the dust settles, one begins to think at a whole different level. Embracing other people’s system of thinking therefore has the power to revolutionize one’s own system. This is all the more reason to stay open-minded, in particular, about the opponent. Time and again, game reviews have demonstrated that players have much to offer to each other. The opponent can be a ‘great teacher’ for those who are open to their input and appreciate their commentaries. It would be a shame to treat the opponent as hostile and let jealousy and the sense of rivalry get in the way of learning.

  Nobody likes being defeated or asking for help on bended knees. But anybody who wants to win must be willing to bow one’s head to the winner and ask for a lesson. One must inquire as much as possible and learn how to incorporate the winner’s way of thinking into one’s own style.

  Collective knowledge sharing and the culture of open discussion have been the two important drivers of Go’s continued success. The Go game record books are akin to the open-source programs on the Internet accessible to anyone and open to improvements. Every day, comments about the game records of top-ranking players fill up the message boards on Go-related websites. This common space welcomes anyone with new ideas. Go, being a sport for players of all age, gender and ranks, nurtures open and interactive dynamics.

  In 1997, I was flying to Japan with other professional players to participate in the 10th Fujistu Cup World Go Championship. I was revisiting the second round of the final match that I played against Satoru Kobayashi at the 8th Tongyang Securities Cup which was held a few days ago. I had won the game but I was not quite satisfied with how I played it. Jimmy Cha, who was sitting beside me, brought up the topic so I shared with him what was on my mind.

  “In hindsight, there was a better way to win. I could have ended the game earlier, but I chose the less optimal opening move.” Changho, who was sitting behind us overheard our conversation. As soon as he unpacked at the hotel, he sat down and started to think of any counter-response to the move I regretted not making. When Changho finally came up with one that night, he shared it with his peer, Choi Myunghoon 5P (now 9P).

  “Do you remember the move Mr. Cho mentioned on the plane? It would not have worked because there is a countermove.”

  Myunghoon relayed it to Jimmy, who, in turn, passed the message to me. That night, I stayed up thinking about how to reply to the countermove.

  “Do you remember the move Changho came up with yesterday? What would he do if I fend off his move with this one?”

  Jimmy slapped his knee and exclaimed.

  “He will be captured!”

  We never stop reviewing games. Chances are someone is trying to find another clever response as we speak now. We will learn the moves others invented and try to discover other countermoves through never-ending game reviews. Hence the on-going evolution of Go.

  Replay, Everyday

  A long time ago, I had a visitor who came looking for me to a Go club. As soon as he finished introducing himself, he blurted out.

  “I can beat you, Mr. Cho!”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “I have replayed your games for hundreds of times. As the old saying goes, if you know your enemy and yourself, you can win every battle. Mr. Cho, you don’t know me, but I know your games like the back of my hand. So, I can beat you!”

  I did n
ot know how to reply other than saying, “Oh, you think so?” The short conversation ended there.

  Studying game records is a prerequisite for learning to play Go. Beginners and professionals alike, everyone needs to study game records to improve their skills. Records of past games that have become famous worldwide classics, major championship games, games played between top professional players must be studied. Replaying someone else’s game literally involves placing all the stones in the order written in the game record. The process is similar to reviewing one’s own game, except one is reconstructing someone else’s game. In this way, players get to learn how the masters think and understand the logic behind each move; the opening strategies, patterns and crisis management skills. Beginners can see their skills dramatically improve in a short period of time just by analyzing the game records.

  Another reason to replay the game records is to identify any possible mistakes. Every game record has a weak link, even the great ones. Whether it be an honest mistake, a careless mistake, or mistakes that made or break the game, it may take up to a few dozens of days to go through one game record. It would have been nice if reviewing someone else’s game can teach you everything about the person, but unfortunately, it does not.

  Game records reflect the player’s style; they help to understand whether the player prefers to play offense or is meticulous. The most one can get out of game records is getting a sense of the style of the player. This is because masters in Go can switch their gear at any moment as they see fit. They can shift to playing defense from their usual offensive style. They can be versatile depending on the situation on the board. It is impossible to know the masters’ style and plays inside out from simply memorizing the game records.

  Of all the strategy board games, Go has the largest number of outcomes. With simple mathematics, one loses track attempting to count them because the number of cases come out to a seven-hundred digit number. The number of outcomes may show a sharp drop if the rules of different Go competitions are applied to filter the cases. However, there are too many outcomes remaining to keep track of. Different rules of the game and the creativity of the players combine, rendering it possible to produce a few hundred million or trillion combinations of outcomes. One game can also be mapped out in thousands of different ways depending on where the players decide to place their first stones. Game records have been recorded for over two centuries but not a single case of identical records was found. This provides explanation to why Artificial Intelligence is catching up with human intelligence only now to play Go games, whereas relatively speaking, sophisticated computer programming was not required to win human intelligence in chess games.

  I used to scour my opponent’s game records with full attention before the actual game in the hope of finding out about my counterpart’s style. But I soon realized that studying my opponent’s game did not help me much. It was not worth putting a strategy together based on those game records because it only took one unexpected move from the opponent to shift the flow of the game entirely. Building a strategy that can respond to every single variable would take forever, needless to say, absurd. It made more sense to work on my reading rather than spending too much time analyzing my counterpart.

  The best way to train is to replay the game on the same day every day. One needs to remember the game played earlier in the day and try to reconstruct it. Replaying gives up-to-date insight to the overall level of the player. Any bad habits or practices must be fixed right away.

  Master Segoe was not the kind who gave attention to every little detail when he was teaching his student. But he was very strict about replaying one’s own game every day. Reviewing the game played earlier during the day after dinner was an important part of my daily routine. Master Segoe would watch me reviewing my own game and sometimes pointed his finger at a stone. He did not make any facial expression nor did he say anything, but I knew that that was the stone I had to think over.

  Master Segoe’s way of teaching was not so different from how I taught Changho. Diligence was already his middle name when Changho came to study under me. We let Changho stay in a room where all the books on Go were stored. Changho read every single one of them while he lived with us and had read and analyzed every book on game records.

  Sometimes I asked Changho to replay his game in my presence. Strangely enough, he was unable to remember his game. After placing a few stones on the board, he sat like a stone, saying that he could not remember the positions of the rest of the stones. It came as a surprise because most professional players did not need any special effort to remember their own games and were able to remember others’ records at a glance. I asked Changho to do one thing. “Try to remember the game you played that day. It will help you understand your mistakes and how to fix them.”

  Ever since that day, Changho made a lot of effort to remember his games. He seemed a little slow in the beginning but with regular practice, he succeeded in recalling his moves. It has been a while since Changho stepped down from the ‘throne.’ Nevertheless, he still spends a lot of time replaying his games and reviewing others’ game records, day and night. When his opponents ask Changho to review games with them, he offers analysis in great detail and with respect to his opponents. He is open to sharing his strategy without any reservation with those who ask for his insight. Chagnho has gained popularity, particularly in China, where Go fans appreciate his modest and benevolent attitude toward game reviews.

  In 2004, Changho was taking a rest at a hotel after winning a close match against Hu Yaoyu 7P (now 8P) at the 5th Chunlan Cup World Professional Weiqi Championship. Hu Yaoyu showed up without notice at Changho’s room door with a group of young players repeatedly asking for a game review. Changho received them with a warm greeting. He willingly went over the game with them, answering all of their questions until dawn while rubbing his sleepy eyes. It was essentially his sincerity that took him to the ‘throne,’ and kept him respected even when he stepped down from it.

  Admit Defeat and Move On

  There are moments I want to tear my hair out while replaying my own games. Self-reproach becomes unbearable particularly after losing at a high-profile competition by a narrow margin. I continue to beat myself up over the lost game, asking myself how I could have possibly misread the positions, or if I did not have the intelligence to catch the hints. Dwelling on these emotions, however, holds me back from doing a proper game review, which is possible only when I can be objective about my own game. Without being free from the feelings of self-blame, regret, and being wrongfully defeated, game reviews could be misused to harass myself rather than to learn from revisiting my mistakes.

  Most professional players including myself try very hard to shake off all the negative emotions and to focus on the game review itself, which is much easier said than done. It takes a while to let go the strong emotions experienced during a tight game, but most players are forced to jump right into a review session without having a moment to cool down. They eventually get used to the process. More accurately, they become used to the distress rather than getting better in controlling their emotions.

  Sometimes the feeling of distress can last even long after the match is over. This is not a good sign. Prolonged self-blame can lead to self-doubt, hence a harbinger of a long slump. To professional players, game reviews mean more than review sessions. They are rituals we go through to overcome and flush out all the negative emotions. After a tough day, we can tell ourselves, ‘I messed up the game today and that is done.’ Stones once placed on the board cannot be taken back. When the game is over, all there is left to do is to learn my lesson and move on.

  Humans tend to remember negative memories longer than positive ones. We tend to be quick at forgetting our success or commendations for our achievement. But we remember failures and embarrassing moments for a long time. Perhaps, it is because negative events give greater shock and far-reaching psychological repercussions. I am not free from this disposition. I had won 1,900 rounds of ga
mes out of 2,700, but the ones I remember are the lost games. I am not saying that I do not have memories from the prestigious championships, such as the Ing Cup and the Fujistu Cup which I won. I do have vivid memories of those moments. But, in terms of intensity, nothing compares to the memory of the Kisung Title Match which I lost by half a point to Changho.

  I won the first two rounds of the final match at the 7th Kisung Title Match. But Changho caught up, winning the next two rounds. The score was a tie, 2:2, but Changho defeated me in the fifth and the final round by half a point. Many things were at stake; not to mention the huge prize money, the trophy, and the right to advance to the final as the title holder the following year. And I lost by half a point. No words could express my feelings at the time. Although it is natural to feel depressed when one loses a game, the sadness becomes even more unbearable when one loses by a narrow margin. The futility kept me awake all night. The mind and the body were exhausted but I was still tense from the game. So I tossed and turned, disturbing my wife’s sleep, too.

  Negative feelings must be put aside as soon as possible. I gain nothing from agonizing over my defeat for an extended period of time. Soon, there will be another competition in which I will have to participate. I turned to replaying my game over and over again. I felt free once I figured out what went wrong and what could have been done to win the game. ‘Ah, that was my mistake. I could have won if I had done something else instead. I should not make the same mistake in the next game.’ Game reviews gave me a sense of closure. And I felt better.

  Talking to people can also help to overcome the negative emotions and that was exactly what I did after the Kisung Title Match. I shared the result of my game review with others and explained in detail why I had lost. I had shared it frequently enough that I started to look at my game record with more objectivity.