Go with the Flow Read online

  Later, I learned that many people in the Go community who heard about how I got kicked out, paid a visit to Master Segoe to offer an explanation. Abe and even Master Fujisawa came by a few times to ask for forgiveness on my behalf. Abe, in particularly, blamed himself for getting me into trouble. He felt guilty for insisting to bet money on the game and for telling the whole town about it. Abe confessed that his intention was to commend my talent, never to get me into trouble. Abe had no idea Master Segoe would be as furious as to punish me for it.

  This incident became a complete nightmare for me. No matter how many times I revisited the day I played the game for money, I could not come up with any way to reject Abe’s request. I would have done the same thing even if I went back in time to that moment.

  But the fact was that I had broken the rule Master Segoe had been adamant about. Regardless of the context, I broke the rule and deserved to take responsibility for the consequence. Master Segoe’s rule was too unreasonable and his reaction too terrifying for a 15-year-old boy to comprehend and handle. It took me years to slowly process and understand Master Segoe. By then I had become an adult, had taken in a student myself and had enough life experiences to fully appreciate Master Segoe’s teaching.

  I believe Master Segoe recognized that my talent would make me a great Go player in the world on the first day we met. But he was not sure if I had the character to win. Will he grow into a good person with the character that befits his talent in Go? Long before I went into tutelage under Master Segoe, he had already decided not to take in any more students. But he made the exception of accepting me, at a very old age, because he felt a sense of mandate to help me win with talent and character- become a true master in Go.

  As the saying goes, you never offer a high position or the secret of a special technique to those who have questionable personality, and never put skills and knowledge before virtue. Master Segoe warned me over and over about betting money on Go, even for a mere few hundred yen, he knew that if I did not take his words seriously, I would end up with fatal flaws in my character later in life.

  If Master Segoe had not punished me the way he had, I would never have developed a sense of guilt about straying into sideways occasionally. I could have become indifferent to bending rules and too comfortable with “ends justifies the means” way of thinking. Several times in my life, I did come very close to making compromises that would endanger my reputation and values. I am only human with many shortcomings after all. But it was the teachings of Master Segoe that helped me get a hold on myself. I resisted the temptation of easy life and stopped myself from crossing the line. I never stopped thinking about the virtues of a good Go player.

  Think Right, Act Right

  From time to time, people of great wealth and high-ranking in business or in the government, find themselves mired in scandals for inappropriate comments or behavior in public; anything from human mistakes, such as a careless body language, slip of the tongue to the more controversial, professional and moral misconduct, accounting frauds, and backdoor dealings. Shouldn’t the wealthy and the elite know better than to get themselves involved in wrongdoings?

  Rule-breaking or socially-misbehaving people are often the ones who are in the limelight- on fast track to success and this creates great confusion. Did breaking the rules get them that far? Do I need to start bending the rules myself to become successful? Will I end up with the short end of the stick if I continue complying to the rules and moral ethics? Our values are shaken by the few powerful and wealthy people who do not appear to deserve their success. But time always reveals that their success is only an illusion, a house of cards soon to collapse. They may appear to be on a roll, but their tricks and deceptions do come with a hefty price tag later.

  In the world of Go, although very rarely, one comes across some professional players who resorts to cheap tricks rather than playing fair and square. For example, they induce their opponents to inadvertently break petty rules, such as the rule related to using the timer or placing the stones on the board. At first look, the loss or the discredit seems to make sense because however minor, the player broke the rule. But a closer look always reveals that the player had fallen for a sneaky ambush attack. When it happened to me, I was furious and thought it was an unfair way to lose. But I did not do anything about it because I knew that those who use unethical tactics do not last long. Cheating can earn one a victory or two, but it does not translate into one’s real performance. One will never make it to the top of the world from using dishonest practices.

  Not everyone can make it to the top. Hard work nor skills alone can’t guarantee a place in the summit. One needs the complete package that includes character and luck. Above all, a player must have a strong core, or the mental strength to bear the pressure of playing with the best players. The skills will take the player to the top, but to stay on the top, one needs the character to bear the weight of the crown.

  Having the character does not always translate into better performance right away. In order to seek immediate gains, one should make practical use of time. But the moment when one’s character is put the test may come sooner than expected. Character is revealed in one’s every word, gesture, and behavior, therefore, it becomes the yardstick of one’s reputation. One’s reputation is established before one realizes it.

  A crisis situation brings out one’s true character. Does one eat humble pie, or shift the blame on others to protect self-interest? How does one use power and for what cause? One’s choices define what one stands for. Character allows one to use intelligence and talent in the right way. Without the befitting character, one is bound to think in ill-disciplined ways and make destructive decisions. Without righteous mind one is unable to choose the right thing to do, chances are one ends up with facing ruins.

  So it is crucial to train oneself to think right. One’s choices and actions are reflection of how one thinks. To get a better idea of a person, pay attention to the choices that person makes instead of what is spoken. A single decision will give a more accurate picture than a thousand words.

  History has taught us the same; Adolf Hitler was a genius but his obsession with eugenics and imperialism was a deadly threat to humanity. Joseph V. Stalin, blinded by the desire for power, conceived his version of the Reign of Terror and ruthlessly eliminated his political rivals.

  One’s thoughts grow like a tree, branching out in the direction of the sun. But one wrong turn can forever change the course of the branch. I believe rules and the moral code, no matter how trivial they may seem, must be internalized every day, so that they make up the strong foundation of one’s character to think right and act right.

  Shadowing My Master

  Master Segoe took me in as his last student to mold my character around the virtues desirable for both Go and life. Master Segoe, however, did not micromanage what I did, or did not do. Except for setting a few basic ground rules that included prohibiting gambling and playing Go for money, he did not keep a list of do’s and don’ts. He never gave me a lecture on what kind of person I should be. Instead, Master Segoe led by example.

  Master Segoe had a regimented daily routine; he got up every day at the same time, got dressed and read the newspaper. After having a light breakfast, he spent all day thinking about Go or reading books. In between, he took slow walks in the front yard. Whenever he had guests over, Master Segoe did not make a fuss to welcome them. He seemed uninterested in the politicians and ministers who paid him visits. Once, a homeless came by asking for food. Master Segoe treated him with the same indifference he had shown to his high-ranking guests.

  The only guest who was welcomed at Master Segoe’s house was Yasunari Kawabata, his long-time friend and the author of “Snow Country (Yukiguni)” who won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1968.

  Whenever Mr. Kawabata came over, the two gentlemen caught up with each other, but mainly talked about Go and literature while sipping their tea. They spoke so softly in a low voice that I could hardly h
ear what they were talking about.

  In the evening, Master Segoe liked to sip sake very slowly while having dinner. He loved sake very much. Considering his old age and his health, which was not in a good shape after being exposed to the radiation from the atomic bombs that dropped in Hiroshima, it was probably better for Master Segoe to quit drinking any alcohol. But Master Segoe never gave up his love for sake. His doctor begged him to stop drinking but he always shook his head sideways saying, “please do not ask me to give up sake even if it kills me tomorrow.”

  The doctor limited the amount of sake Master Segoe could drink in a day to one hop, about 180ml. He also made Master Segoe promise to drink a cup of sake slowly for over one or two hours, and never to imbibe. Master Segoe gave his word to the concerned doctor and kept his promise until the day he died. I liked watching my mentor in his kimono sipping sake at the dinner table without saying a word. He took one grateful sip at a time, inhaling its fragrance, too. He looked like a man meditating in a scroll of a Japanese painting.

  His way of life was admirable but perhaps too monotonous for someone outgoing and curious like me. I could not have stood the strictly regimented daily routine. Master Segoe devoted his entire life to Go and did not bother to learn much about the real world. Naturally, he was clueless when it came to the price of daily necessities, for example, the price of a pen or a bale of rice so he often paid through the nose. But he chose to live in solitude, religiously devoting himself to Go. As for me, I knew that I did not want to live like a Go hermit, let alone have the capacity to follow in the footsteps of my master.

  I did not want to let Go govern my whole life. Even the ‘expulsion’ episode did not stop me from being curious about the world outside Go. For example, there were so many fascinating games like pachinko in Japan, mah-jong in China, and poker in the Western world. I wanted to explore those seemingly challenging and entertaining territories myself. Master Segoe’s way of life was akin to a still-life painting, which would have made me feel out of breath if I were to emulate it. I had a lot of respect for my master but at times I found his views to be somewhat out of date and too conservative for the 20th century.

  Go was my passion but I never came close to feeling a sense of spiritual responsibility for it like Master Segoe did. There have been too many interesting things happening outside the Go world that I just had to try. If Master Segoe was alive, I am afraid he would have wanted to sever ties with me for having an affair behind Go; I have seen the world, gambled with cards, and betted on horse racing.

  I lived with Master Segoe for 9 years. During this time, whether it be Go or his view of the world, he taught me by setting an example. We were two different people with different dispositions and we went our own ways. Now that I have arrived at his age I realized that we had a common ground; we both loved Go and led lives that revolved around it.

  While I was studying under Master Segoe, he was always there for me and I grew up watching him; I saw the way he treated others, the way he played Go with integrity, the way he was always neatly and properly dressed, and carrying on his daily routine like a ritual. The underlying meaning of his words that I once unjustly brushed off became clearer as I got older.

  “The most important thing in life is to do our duty as a human being.”

  “Integrity, character, and dignity are what make us a complete human being.”

  “The duty of a teacher is not to give the answers, but to show the way and to give support.”

  Manners can be taught but integrity and character cannot. Attempting to mold the character of an individual itself risks ruining the true character of that person. Master Segoe showed me his way hoping that I would learn from his example instead of rolling his sleeves up to educate me.

  There is no need to scold the students for falling short of one’s standards and expectations. As long as one holds fast to one’s principles, those inspired will work hard to follow the example of the teacher. Those who choose otherwise do so most probably because the values and the principles considered important in the teacher’s days may have become less important today.

  For those of us who are worried about kids who do not behave, there is no magic spell to discipline them. Stop looking for tricks. Rather, set a good example. Children imitate the grown-ups. They are our mirrors. It is highly likely that children who get distracted easily and are clumsy grow up under parents who more or less have difficulty concentrating.

  Poor parents are those who have very little principles and values to teach their children, not those who have little money to give. Children’s lives depend on the values and perspectives they learn from their parents because they form the foundation of their social skills, career choices, raising a family and pursuing their dreams.

  Bearing the Weight of the Crown

  In 1989, when I came home from the Ing Cup with the champion’s trophy, Lee Changho, my student, bowed with no facial expression like the statue of the Buddha. He did not say a single word of congratulations nor gave me a smile. As soon as I arrived at the Gimpo Airport, Korea, I was whisked away in a motorcade through the streets of Seoul to downtown while crowds greeting me in a festive mood. I also received hundreds of phone calls from the Go community congratulating me. But, as it was always the case, I did not get any special reaction from my own student. Changho and I were both the reserved kind. Instead of giving me a rowdy praise, Changho hung around in the living room for a while and tried to read my face, which I knew, was his way of congratulating me. And then he retired to his room.

  Changho passed the Professional Qualification Tournament two years after he came to learn under my tutelage. He was a fast learner and came home with dozens of trophies every time he participated in a tournament. But never once did I offer him a congratulatory word nor did Changho express his excitement. On the other hand, Mihwa would grab both of Changho’s hands and give him a big hug to show how happy she was for him. Changho would then, show a brief, faint smile to reciprocate. Changho and I never exchanged any compliments, nor offered any words of comfort when one of us was defeated. We just stared into space without saying a word. What an uninteresting relationship!

  I took in Changho as my student in 1984, when I was 31. It was very rare at the time for an active professional Go player, who was still in his prime time, to accept a student. I did not plan on it myself as I had always thought if I ever took in a student, the right time would be after retirement.

  Changho was a boy of few words but became even quieter like a stone Buddha after he started to live with us. Not only did he speak less and less, but his facial expressions disappeared, and he even acted like an old man. A nine-year old boy walked trying hard not to make any noise as if he wanted to be invisible. Mihwa, who looked after him, took pity on him. Changho had left his parents too young to live with complete strangers. Mihwa thought he did not feel home at our place. I understood very well how Changho must have felt, to be away from home and having to mingle with grown-ups at that age. He must have felt lonely and uncomfortable. But it was the price he had to pay to learn Go. He had to force himself to become mature to compete with grown-ups. So I spared friendliness, warmth and kindness.

  Winning and losing is as natural as eating a meal to a professional Go player. Having meal is not a special one-day event. It is a routine that must continue until we die. There is no need to be excited for the delicious food today, or be disappointed by an awful one the next day. If one fails to learn how to control one’s emotions, one will not last in the world of professional competition. Don’t be overjoyed by one victory nor get upset too much about one defeat. Training to control emotions no matter under what circumstances precedes perfecting skills. Only those who can keep calm get to climb to the summit.

  Master Segoe never scolded me when I lost, nor spoke highly of me when I won. Every day was the same to him- whether I was biting my tongue, unable to get over a stupid mistake that eventually led to my defeat, or whether I was thrilled from winning a landslid
e victory. Master Segoe always had me do those tedious chores like sweeping the yard clean or preparing a table of sake and snacks. He trained me to embrace joy and woe like a daily routine so that I would not be swayed by emotions. Emotions are merely waves that get washed away to the sea or washed up to the shore. Master Segoe believed that one should never be consumed by emotions. Professional Go players, in particular, were to detach themselves from joy, sorry, and anger and process them with a cool head. Master Segoe warned that those used to feeling flattered from winning are not able to bear being defeated. In order to win, one must have the experience of losing one thousand times until one becomes strong enough to treat victory and defeat as business-as-usual. I grew up watching and learning from Master Segoe how to never lose control of emotions.

  It is easier said than done, of course. It is hard even for professional Go players to accept defeat with grace. They may choose to turn to their families for consolation and comfort. But it was not the case for me. Rain or shine, I went to bed as usual and got up the next morning at the same time. It was not easy to be in control of my emotions. Sometimes, I would toss and turn, failing to shake off the misery of defeat. Then I would get out of the bed to take a slow walk in the front yard or try to read a book until the feeling of anger or resentment gradually subsides.

  I did not teach Changho how to play Go. The only thing I could do for him was to be myself, just like Master Segoe did for me. If Changho thought I had any strengths, it was really up to him to embrace it. As for my weaknesses, I believe he had the capacity to ignore them. It was his judgement call.